Are you frustrated, frightened, and feeling overwhelmed – while locked-in oneself and no place to go? You just want to scream!
Upon discharge, you’ve been told by your speech therapist there is nothing more they can do for you after your stroke.
You return home and are unable to speak. Your communication has vanished. POOF!
Fear sets in, as you’re unable to ask for anything, you’re unable to answer the phone, you’re unable to read and you’re unable to write.
You say to yourself, “This can’t be happening”.
You’re living in an un-awakening nightmare.
You listen as others in your presence discuss “you”. The frustrations only build as they speak of your past, your present, and your future . . . as though you were invisible.
Anger rages inside you, the thought of never speaking again is shattering.
You want to die!
These feelings are all normal.
Nobody ever thinks about losing their voice. It’s just always there.
But, when it freezes up on you, your whole life changes in a split second . . .
When all of a sudden you can’t speak for yourself . . .
When you can’t ask for a peanut butter sandwich . . .
When you can’t say you want to go to a movie . . .
When you can’t say “I love you”.
Your yesterday’s life is gone, leaving you only breathing and aware!
You have been re-born and unable to speak. You can’t return to work. In some cases, you’re unable to read and/or write, which only adds to the terror and never-ending anxiety.
Your friends are dropping out of sight!
You watch others, as they awkwardly try to communicate with you. They don’t know what to say. They don’t know how to act. They start to evaporate.
This is the beginning of your battle. It’s the beginning of your new life. You’re headed towards improving your speech. However, you must go through these 3 stages to improve your speech, so let’s get started!
STAGE #1 Working Through Panic, Hopelessness, Fear, and Loneliness
You need to get hold of your panicking state, and work your way through feeling scared, feeling hopeless, feeling unworthy, and feeling totally alone. You need to accept what has happened.
How do you do this? You give it time!
You’re feeling like shit, and don’t expect it to change.
It took my son approximately 1.5 years to start accepting his situation after his stroke. One of the disabilities he acquired was aphasia, a speech disorder.
There are different symptoms for different survivors. Some can’t speak at all, some can speak a little, some can’t understand what is said, while others can understand everything spoken.
There may be slurring of words. There may be sentences that make no sense. Whatever the signs are, the trapped feelings are the same, and their intellect remains intact.
He heard the words from the therapist, as he was discharged to go home after a 3 month stay.
“There is nothing more we can do for you!”
Those words pounded in his head repeatedly. After all, the therapist is the professional.
He couldn’t read and he couldn’t write!
He couldn’t speak! Hope was taken away, as good-byes were spoken.
He didn’t care about anything. He didn’t want to live. He believed there was nothing that could be done to help him speak again.
The 1st stage of self pity is understandable. It’s natural. It’s a given.
The length of time for this stage is different for everybody. There are many variables to consider and each person has to get past these feelings. They have to accept what has happened to them “in their own time”.
There is no moving forward. Time stands still.
It takes patience, patience, and more patience! The patience needed are extraordinary and monstrous. Not only on the survivors end, but also on the part of the caregivers and loved ones.
The changing of a stroke survivors feelings take time. It does not happen suddenly. They need to work their feelings out. They need to be given the time to do so. They need the time to accept what has happened, in order to move forward.
STAGE #2 Your goals are distant and may be unreachable
Now that you have accepted your situation, you want to set short and long term goals, using baby steps as you accomplish each one.
It may take days, weeks, months, or even years of hard consistent work.
You want to set attainable goals, and not set yourself up for disappointments by giving yourself goals that may not be obtainable in the time span given, or giving yourself too many goals at one time.
Remember the baby steps. In the beginning here, play with the time span. Set one goal. You can change these, as you advance along. They are your goals. You set them. You can change them.
You’ll be on a high one moment and down the next. The most important thing is DON’T EVER GIVE UP! EVA . . . EVA . . . EVA, and know this . . .
Overnight success will not happen!
Allow your caregiver to help you. They will be a large part of your success, as you progress towards your final goal.
Set one long-term goal, such as; “By the end of this year, I want to speak so many words or phrases” or “Maybe, I want to count to ten or twenty”.
Whatever your goal is, write it down and post it where you’ll see it daily. You want the reminder in front of you constantly. Call it your mentor!
Set one small goal at a time. One word at a time or one number. I again say “baby steps” with these short-term goals.
They can be set anyway you want. Set them on a daily basis, weekly basis, bi-weekly basis, or monthly basis. Whatever you feel comfortable with.
How many words do you want to work on in a day, in a week, or in a month? One? Two? Three?
Nothing is etched in stone.
Once you set your goals, it’s time to move to the final stage.
Stage #3 Don’t work your goals
Unless you harden yourself to the idea of working on your goals regularly, you will not attain them, so don’t envision fulfilling them.
You must set daily routines.
Set a time with your caregiver or loved one. If you don’t have either, ask a neighbor. Check with local schools/colleges and churches for volunteers. You can also check with organizations such as Knights of Columbus, DAV, Elks, American Legion, and many others.
Reach out to others. People love helping people. Find 7 volunteers and ask each one to help you, one day a week.
It can be an hour a day. It can be 10 minutes a day.It doesn’t matter how long you work it each day, as long as you work it! This is a must!
Work it alone by looking in a mirror and saying the word or the phrase. Watch your mouth and tongue as they move. Practice, and keep on practicing!
Repetition is the key to opening your line of communication, whether it be with someone or in the mirror. Just keep repeating . . . repeating . . . and repeating again . . . and again . . . and again.
You will get discouraged at times, but keep moving toward your long term goal. You may not see any improvement daily, and most likely won’t.
Nevertheless, keep the momentum going. You are your own catalyst. Engulf it.
“Yes . . . take baby steps and you CAN learn to speak again.”
With your persistence, with your endurance, and with your continuity, you have turned around the hope that was taken away . . . the . . . “There is nothing more we can do for you”.
Take hold of your own life now. Don’t wait!
Wake up from your nightmare. Grasp hold of your speechlessness. Forget about your speech therapist, and the negative thought they left you with.
Concentrate on what you can do at home to improve your speech. Clutch onto the stages above. Start to improve your speaking. Your communicating.
As soon as you have accepted your situation, set those goals and work on them vigorously. Let nothing come between you and your speaking. Go for it! Climb your mountain, a baby step at a time, and as high as you can go.
When you’ve reached your long term goal, set another one.
You’ve gone above and beyond . . . what your therapist couldn’t do.
You are able to converse, but don’t stop here. Keep practicing new words, and don’t forget to keep repeating the ones you’ve already learned. Repetition will get you to your goal, and your next goal, so keep speaking.
How proud you will be of yourself!
Then . . . Go celebrate!!!
NOT SURE 