Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.
— Oscar Wilde.
This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.
Introduce Yourself (Example Post)
This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.
You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.
Why do this?
- Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
- Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.
The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.
To help you get started, here are a few questions:
- Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
- What topics do you think you’ll write about?
- Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
- If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?
You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.
Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.
When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.
How I Have Coped With My Son’s Disabilities After A Stroke
Or maybe I haven’t coped?
From the time I received the phone call, fell to my knees, and felt the fear set in, there was a feeling of total numbness that came over me. My nightmare began. He was in ICU, on life support, and in a coma. My son had a stroke at 37 yrs. old. How will I deal with this?
I threw things into my overnight bag, I was given a ride to the airport, I sat through a 2 hour layover, and I finally walked into his room — 16 hours later.
He came out of the coma just minutes before I arrived.
His whole body was paralyzed.
He could only move his eyes, he couldn’t swallow, and he could not speak. As our eyes met, a tear rolled down his cheek . I kept my tears inside, as I slowly felt my heart rip apart.
I knew I had to be strong for him. God gave me the strength I needed, though the numbness was still there from the phone call. It was like he placed a shield around me, to help me cope.
For the next ten days I stayed in his hospital room and slept in a chair, while he was hooked up to a feeding tube. I needed him to know that I was there, and not leaving.
I‘d wash up in the bathroom, grab food from the cafeteria, and eat in the waiting area. The nurses always knew where I was.
I prayed — and prayed — and prayed.
It seemed to be the only way I could cope. I was constantly speaking to God. Asking him to bring him through this — trusting him to.
I had to be near him, as he remained on the tube — motionless. Finally, he was able to swallow a bit of clear liquid, and the tube was removed.
Crying became part of coping.
Hope was butchered the 1st day of rehab. The speech therapist did some testing. It involved swallowing. How much? How little? What textures?
He could not speak a word.
My heart sank, as we were told;
He would never speak again.
I tried not to react in a shocked manner, as my son showed total shock, fear, and pain — all at once in his facial expressions.
I looked at him and said, “YES — YOU — WILL”. Being unable to speak, he gave me a look of – you’re in denial, Mom.
And, again I repeated,
“YES — YOU — WILL. You have always liked a challenge, and you now have the biggest challenge of your life. Work it — show them they are wrong. You can do this. Don’t give up.”
I felt helpless, scared, and angry.
When alone — all I did was cry.
I guess I wasn’t coping. But then again, crying had to be released in order to take hold of the coping — to accept what was happening — and to give 110% focus to my son.
My heart was split in two, and the pain was unbearable.
And now, we were told he would never walk again.
COPE? I didn’t want to cope . . . I wanted to Scream!
On top of it all, they wouldn’t let me stay overnight in the rehab department.
They closed up at 8:00 pm and everybody was kicked out — as though they were a Dollar Store, a grocery store, or a K-Marts. Heck, they didn’t even close that early.
The screaming inside me was building up — but I had to cope.
I found myself some food n’ wine – two minutes from his house.
I was coping now. A glass of wine with dinner each night for the next 1.5 months. It helped me relax and sleep.
I’m not telling you to go out and get drunk. That’s not what I did. Just one or two drinks relaxed me.
If it relaxes you — then do it (unless for health reasons you shouldn’t). However, don’t over do it. You’re already facing a terrible dilemma — you don’t need to add to it.
Along with the meal and wine, I had my cell phone which rang off the hook. I ate, drank, and repeated the days events as the calls came in and out.
When I arrived at the house, the phone was shut off. I needed some quiet time to myself. I needed to get my head straight, if that was at all possible at this point.
What I did was write in my journal or watch a movie. I was relaxed, and it didn’t take much time before I would doze off.
Before I knew it, morning broke and I was back at the hospital again when the doors opened at 8:00 a.m.
Now, onto another day of coping with the recurrent 12 hours of speechlessness and life-changing body mechanics.
While dealing with the horrendous devastation, the agony, and the havoc of this nightmarish turning point, total misery kept engulfing me.
Sitting in the hospital day after day, I had to find something to do, in order to cope and not go crazy. I couldn’t concentrate on reading, I couldn’t sit idle, and I couldn’t just pace back n’ forth.
Earlier on, I was given a list of half a dozen nursing homes by the hospital social worker. I spent one morning checking them out, while my son attended his rehab sessions (I wasn’t allowed to go to them).
On this specific morning, I did not come close to coping. I went to all of them on the list, and left each of them with my eyes just gushing with tears.
He was only 37 yrs. old. He did not belong in one of these facilities. I would do whatever it took, to keep him out of these institutions.
I was told — I had to have a place for him to be discharged to, which would be 90 days after his admittance , with care provided. I told them, “He is not going to a nursing home, he will be discharged to me, and I will be the care provider”.
I wondered how many stroke survivors were in nursing homes, because they had no place to go when discharged after their stroke.
I knew keeping my mind active was key to my coping, while sitting in the hospital everyday.
I needed to occupy my time so I could remain functional.
I started journals . . . all kinds of journals . . . one for moving, one for healthy eating, one for the needs of stroke survivors, and one for everything else that came to mind.
I had to stay engaged with something I felt was future productive. I focused, my mind stayed active, and I was being effective.
The 1st year of discharge, and the daily hell of it all.
We had no warning about what was to come.
We were wished good luck upon his discharge.
He was returning home paralyzed on his right side, unable to speak, read, or write, partial memory loss, vision sensitivity, migraine headaches, and with a high possibility of seizures setting in.
It wasn’t instilled in him that, his old life was gone forever.
When he arrived home from discharge — the light bulb came on.
Reality started to set in.
Acceptance was unperceived, living was ignored, and a downward spiral was engaged.
He descended into a deep depression of not caring and wanting to die.
I didn’t have time to think about how to cope.
I was too busy making sure I didn’t overdose him — or underdose him.
I was too busy helping him up, when he fell. Half his body was dead weight and he could only help with his left hand, as his paralyzed right side would just pull the other way.
I was too busy trying to make, and keep all the doctor appointments straight — when? — why? — where? — who?
I was trying to stay positive to keep him from sliding into a dark hole — which I could see he was headed for.
I had to watch him relearn using his left hand, when he was naturally right handed as he would drop food, drinks, and all else.
I’d watch, as it took him 20 minutes to put on a shoe.
I sat with him — consuming patience I never knew I had — while he proceeded to let me know he wanted an apple, or a drink, or a certain shirt.
I needed to find an outlet for myself, so I didn’t end up in a nuthouse. It was time. I needed something to help cope with our new life.
For me, the escape hatch was writing. It was something I could do while being homebound.
It was something I’ve always loved doing.
It took some stress away. It calmed me. It empowered me.
I turned a negative into a positive, and coped with my situation.
Doing something for yourself is the answer, in order to carry on.
Getting through the day to day heartache, chaos, and unknown of it all, is the goal. Don’t look down the road at next week, next month, or next year.
Don’t even look at tomorrow.
It’s a waste of time, you’ll sit idle, and you’re probably not a psychic.
Take one day at a time.
Do something for yourself.
Don’t allow yourself to get overwhelmed with it all. Focus on the moment, and then go to the next — and focus on that. Put your focus on something that you want to do. Do something tangible — something visible.
Work a hobby — read — do some gardening.
Find something you enjoy, something you’ve always wanted to do, but didn’t have the time.
If you only have a few minutes, you can still do something for you.
Grab your camera and go outside. Snap a photo of a bird in a tree, a child skateboarding by, or a flower that just bloomed.
Plant a vegetable garden. It has great double benefits. The therapy alone can do wonders for you — and don’t forget the healthy salad plates, as you and others savor the moment.
Grab a cup of coffee, a novel that you’ve never had time to read before, and kick back in your favorite spot. Picture yourself wallowing in the moment.
Be good to yourself, slow down a little, and smell the roses.
Why Going Out In Public Can Be Risky Business For The Stroke Survivor.
Pushing a stroke survivor out into the public when they are not ready to go, can have disastrous outcomes.
You, as loved ones and caregivers to a stroke patient can become impatient, anxious, and want to see a quicker improvement on the part of the survivor. This is normal.
You want them to step out. You want them to mix, mingle, and connect with others. It’s what your inner self wants you to do. This is also normal.
What you were told at discharge, could be toxic to your loved one. You’re told the longer they wait to go out, the harder it will be.
They say – get them out, get them socializing, take them anywhere. It could be a walk in the park, grocery shopping, or morning coffee at the closest diner. But this may not be in their best interest.
You believe you are helping them by dragging them out. This is what you were instructed to do.
Their mind is intact, they have their intelligence, and they need to be allowed to make their own decisions. Making them go out will only add frustration, to the frustrations they are already dealing with.
The terrorizing torture on the inside of them may heighten to a point that could cause a seizure, enhance the already painful migraine they are enduring, or cause them to want to be homebound.
They are at more risk than the normal person is, when in stressful situations like these. This stress is not good for their health — physical or mental. Stress can be associated with having a stroke — or another stroke.
The survivor is extremely conscious about their disabilities when in public. They may be in a wheelchair, or unable to speak, or trying to eat with the left hand — when they are right handed.
Some disabilities after a stroke may not be visible to the naked eye such as seizures, headaches, and aphasia.
It takes time for the survivor to become use to different ways of doing things. They have to learn to accept the new life that’s been thrown at them. Pushing them out into the public too soon may slow their progress, or they may exhibit regression.
They may already feel horrible, unworthy, and useless.
They may not be ready to go out into the public and it could set them 2 steps back, when they’ve just moved 3 steps forward.
Good reasons not to thrust them out the door (yet).
People recovering from a stroke have limits, and it can be dangerous for them to overextend.
It can be draining for them. It can cause them to plummet. It can put them into a frantic state. They can become angry, frustrated, and terrorized.
Here are some things to think about, some challenges that you may not realize they are fighting against — and how you can know for sure when the timing is right to take them out.
They feel embarrassed, frightened, and vulnerable.
You must listen to their feelings.
Watch their reactions as they are being stared at — laughed at — and crowded out of their own space.
It’s like being in a wheelchair at a coffee shop, when the delivery guy comes in and puts cartons of product all around your loved one — not thinking they will be unable to move. How frightening that must be for the survivor.
Or being unable to speak — due to having a speech disorder after a stroke — and somebody walks up to them for directions. This has to make them feel embarrassed, awkward, and filled with anxieties.
They might feel vulnerable because of the intimidating looks and comments of people as they pass by them, because their crippled walk is too slow.
You must be careful and you must listen to the survivor. Don’t drag them out thinking it’s a good thing for them, because it may not be. Encouraging them is ok, but they need to make the final decision.
Realize that they need control over their lives.
Would you want to be “taken” out in public — for example — when you can’t speak and you have not accepted it, yet? It should be your decision.
Would you want to go out in public, even if you have accepted it? Again, it needs to be your decision – as it needs to be theirs.
Next time you go to lunch with a friend, try eating with the hand you use the least. Go ahead — from start to finish. Now — how many people gawked at you? How did you feel?
How saddening it is.
Think about having a seizure in the grocery store. How would you feel when coming out of it, and there are 20 people standing there gazing at you, as foam drools down your mouth?
Having disabilities is not the norm. As people stare at you, kids make fun of you, and people give you disgusting looks like you shouldn’t be there, you head into a downward spiral of feeling worthless.
What should you do — push them out — or not?
These are reasons why going out in public too soon can be such risky business for the stroke survivor. It can set them back, instead of moving forward. So what should you do instead?
Do it in “their” own time.
Not the doctor’s time.
Not the therapist’s time.
Not your time.
Give your loved one the choice. They will know when the timing is right. You’ll notice the difference in them — and in you.
Your life will be calmer.
There will be less arguing.
There will be less anxiety.
There will be less stress .
You’ll both be much happier.
You’ll enjoy the outing more.
You’re relationship will be that much stronger.
Be there for them. Show them love and respect. Give them a hug a day, and let them be themselves.
Let them select the time — in their time.
They will know when that will be — and better so — than you.
Why Stroke Survivors Must Join A Support Group (Not Doing So Is Dangerous)
Yes, it is devastating. Beware! It can be so disastrous, you want to end it all.
You are living in a nightmare, unable to wake up. You are extremely vulnerable due to the disabilities, the loss of friends, the evaporation of family, and the loneliness after your stroke.
You feel like a prisoner — and the prison is within your inner-self.
You feel like you are drowning, and there is a danger of not coming up for air.
You ask yourself, “Am I better off if I don’t?”
You are in a frenzy, you are full of self-doubt, and you are plummeting into a downward spiral. You feel lifeless, and you just want to die.
Thoughts like these are dangerous.
When you are walking across a room one moment, and the next moment — which can actually be the next day, next week, or even next month — you awaken in a hospital bed with no memory of what happened, and maybe no memory at all, it is terrorizing. Your nightmare is just beginning.
You go through your rehab —you are discharged — you have no idea what’s in store for you now.
The last time you entered your home, you were walking, talking, and eating. You were involved in whatever activities you enjoyed, you were meeting friends here n’ there, and you were going to work.
Things have changed. You may not be able to walk, you may be in a wheelchair or using a walker or cane, you may have lost your speech and you may be what they call locked-in.
You may not be able to dress yourself. your memory may be gone, and you may have constant migraines. You may have vertigo, you may have vision problems , and you may not be able to read or write.
You thought you are going back to reality. Little did you know, that first you have to accept your disabilities, in order for reality to set in.
In the meantime, you are confused, angry, and scared. You are frustrated, insecure, and disabled.
You not only become overwhelmed, but these feelings can become very dangerous to your mental state. You need help getting through them!
You need help, but where can you get the help you need?
A black-hole is being dug little by little, and if you don’t get into a “stroke support group” where you can share, learn, and grow with others, there is the danger of that hole being closed up, and you’ll start to suffocate.
People come visit in the beginning, because you were just discharged. As time moves on, your friends and family melt slowly away, as your insides collapse while they evaporate. Accepting it — is hard. The hurt is unbearable, as one by one disappears. Your unhealthy mental state is germinating.
You can now add loneliness to the hole.
The danger signs are getting riskier. Only you understand what you are going through. It’s unhealthy not to share with others. You are digging deeper and deeper into the hole and, possibly thinking of suicide. Stop smothering yourself, before you start choking and can’t breath.
Why you must join a support group.
Many stroke survivors have nobody — no family — no friends — no therapists, and many spouses have left the scene.
Make sure you cherish those that have remained, and while they think they understand you — you, the stroke survivor knows different. You sit with your own thoughts within you — feeling alone. “Only” another survivor can understand.
You must realize the danger of not joining a support group.
The feeling as though you’ve been thrown into a mason jar with the top sealed, the anger that takes over and you just want to scream, and the horrific frustrations of your daily living that want to make you strangle someone — all adds to the downward spiral that gets deeper and deeper causing more stress, depression, and mental agony that in turn, can cause death.
As the loneliness intensifies, you need to do something about it, before it does something to you.
Speak with those that have the same crippling disabilities , the same feelings, and the same losses. Climb out of that mason jar and breath.
Join a stroke support group – or start one here, if there is none in your area.
Not only for your benefit, but for other survivors that may be living alone, need friends, and may be homebound.
Stop feeling embarrassed, share your experiences, and mix with fellow stroke survivors. Give them your support — allow them to give you support, share, and socialize.
Make new friends, unlock the prison within you, and start living life.
You will soon see — you are awakening from the nightmare, the mental anguish is diminishing, and thoughts of the dangerous desire of suicide are dissolving .
You will enjoy eye-opening experiences, and start to feel empowered.
You are alive and taking hold of your new life.
Climb that mountain of yours, and soar with other stroke survivors. Grant them the chance to share with you. Permit each other to embrace one another, so you can all seize hold of your incredible journey together .
And live life to the highest peak possible!
17 Tips To Improve Your Speaking After A Stroke
Are you locked-in and unable to articulate your thoughts and emotions?
You’re feeling alone, lost, and invisible to the rest of the world. Being unable to speak after a stroke is the most devastating tragedy one can experience. Nobody ever expects to lose their voice.
You’re living in a constant agonizing feeling of doom, while suffering the daily pain and frustration of being unable to talk.
You’re a slave, within your own mind.
You feel stupid. You are embarrassed. You are living within one’s inner self, as you hear your mind spit out uncensored words — ohhh d*mn — ohhh sh*t — ohhh f*ck.
The torture is unbearable.
You want to explode, but you can’t. It’s building and you are expecting it to burst — like a volcano blows.
It’s time to do some housekeeping. Take hold. Get things in order. Set your plan, so you can improve your speech.
Get rid of those negative thoughts, and start believing you can do this. You “must” believe in yourself, if you want it to work.
Set the stage . . . start choosing your way to talk again. Here are 17 ways you can begin.
It’s All About You
Take the time and invest in yourself. Start getting your house in order, and invade your inner soul.
- Sit or stand in front of a mirror. Breath through your nose and out through your mouth. This will relax you. Think of one word while you do this, and exercise your brain — Close your eyes, see the word, breath in and out, and speak the word to yourself.
- Add a word a week to your vocabulary. Repeat it out loud and daily throughout the day. Repetition is a key.
- Read not only to yourself, but try reading aloud. Think about it. As you read, you are speaking to yourself silently. Try to speak the words out loud, as though you are reading to somebody. If you can only say one word, as you read long — that’s ok. Say it. Then build from there. Keep reading, keep speaking, and start doing it 5–10 minutes a day.
- The same thing happens when you write. You are speaking to yourself. Type, print, or scribble any word you choose. Pay attention. As you write it, you are silently saying the word to yourself. Then try saying it aloud. Stay positive and don’t panic. Stay calm and don’t beat yourself up. It may take some time. If you can’t speak a word, go to another. Just don’t surrender to the moment.
- Set a schedule to practice your speech. Stick to the agenda. Compile a card file for the words you are speaking – reading – and writing. Enjoy the eye-opening adventure, and grab hold of the sensation running through your body, causing a life changing splendor.
Don’t hear it Being Said — “Listen” To It Being said
You are brave — you are brilliant — you are courageous. Your words are securely sealed within you. You must listen, in order to be heard. You must listen to the spoken words.
6. You must re-learn your speaking. You must add to your vocabulary. Listen
to radio talk shows, listen to TV, and listen to those around you speaking. Listen — and listen closely.
7. There are those that cannot speak, but they can sing. Why? Because singing is controlled in a different part of the brain. Some survivors have damage to both parts and therefore, will have a problem with speaking and singing.
Find one of your favorite songs and try singing along with it — see what happens. Try singing, “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”. Everybody knows that one from their childhood or you can go here.
8. Pay attention to the mouth, as people speak. Are they putting their lips together, such as when speaking the letter mmm — their teeth together when speaking sss — or their tongue to their teeth when saying a word with – th. Try to mimic them, as you are watching and listening. Pick out a word here n’ there. See if this works for you.
Allow The Helping Hand — Bar None
Allow others to help enhance your healing. Don’t be stubborn — don’t be embarrassed — don’t be hard-nosed.
9. Sit at eye level. Let them say a word and you repeat it. Try again, and again. After the third try, don’t get frustrated – change the word.
10. Again, at eye level repeat after them, the vowels — a – e – i – o – u.
11.Repeat numbers after your aide speaks them — 1, 2, 3. One number at a time. Once you get that down, then try two, then three, and so on.
12. Learn the days of the week and the months of the year. Remember that repetition is a key.
13. Join an aphasia support group. If there is none in your area — start one. You can get help from organizations, churches, and medical facilities. They are always there to lend a helping hand. Give them the opportunity. You can probably find a meeting place through them — which would be step one.
14. Get a buddy system started, within the support group. Now — you become part of the helping hand. How awesome is that?
Prepare Your Speaking Toolbox
Seize hold of all the tools you can find. Don’t let them, just sit there. Open your toolbox everyday. Help empower yourself — and watch the jaw-dropping expressions from others, as you enrich your life.
14. Introductory aphasia cards are a must. They are usually the size of a business card.They will introduce you to others, that do not know you have a speech disorder. You can print one out for free here.
15. I personally took this Teaching of Talking course for over a year, and was amazed at how my son improved his speech. The teachings of this course are in my toolbox. My son is continuously improving his speech because of it. I get no payment for this link. I just loved the course, and still see the benefits from it. Free tips are given on a regular basis.
16. Go spend a morning at your library. It’s a great source for free videos and audio books. Take some home with you.
17. Your computer is a source for free printable worksheets to assist you in learning your words and math. Check this link out, and again — I get no payment for this link. It’s a tool. Put it in your toolbox.
Take hold . . . work through the frustrations of the unspoken. Move toward the beginning of a new life, as you speak.
“You” can empower yourself, shrink your embarrassment, and decrease the feelings of being doomed.
You can eliminate — living invisible.
You can relieve some of the stress, and lower the burden you carry within.
Remember, it’s all about you
You choose your way — your time — your life. Only you can make the decision to improve your speech.
Become part of a conversation.
Go for it! Engage yourself. Choose one of the 17 ways above. Then move forward to the second, the third, and so on. You don’t have to do them all to improve your speech. Choose what fits you.
Be patient with yourself.
Be kind to yourself.
Work hard, and you will see results.
Picture yourself starting a conversation — asking a question — being “visible” to those around you.
You are remarkable!
.
Stroke Survivors: How To Improve Your Speech This Year
Are you frustrated, frightened, and feeling overwhelmed – while locked-in oneself and no place to go? You just want to scream!
Upon discharge, you’ve been told by your speech therapist there is nothing more they can do for you after your stroke.
You return home and are unable to speak. Your communication has vanished. POOF!
Fear sets in, as you’re unable to ask for anything, you’re unable to answer the phone, you’re unable to read and you’re unable to write.
You say to yourself, “This can’t be happening”.
You’re living in an un-awakening nightmare.
You listen as others in your presence discuss “you”. The frustrations only build as they speak of your past, your present, and your future . . . as though you were invisible.
Anger rages inside you, the thought of never speaking again is shattering.
You want to die!
These feelings are all normal.
Nobody ever thinks about losing their voice. It’s just always there.
But, when it freezes up on you, your whole life changes in a split second . . .
When all of a sudden you can’t speak for yourself . . .
When you can’t ask for a peanut butter sandwich . . .
When you can’t say you want to go to a movie . . .
When you can’t say “I love you”.
Your yesterday’s life is gone, leaving you only breathing and aware!
You have been re-born and unable to speak. You can’t return to work. In some cases, you’re unable to read and/or write, which only adds to the terror and never-ending anxiety.
Your friends are dropping out of sight!
You watch others, as they awkwardly try to communicate with you. They don’t know what to say. They don’t know how to act. They start to evaporate.
This is the beginning of your battle. It’s the beginning of your new life. You’re headed towards improving your speech. However, you must go through these 3 stages to improve your speech, so let’s get started!
STAGE #1 Working Through Panic, Hopelessness, Fear, and Loneliness
You need to get hold of your panicking state, and work your way through feeling scared, feeling hopeless, feeling unworthy, and feeling totally alone. You need to accept what has happened.
How do you do this? You give it time!
You’re feeling like shit, and don’t expect it to change.
It took my son approximately 1.5 years to start accepting his situation after his stroke. One of the disabilities he acquired was aphasia, a speech disorder.
There are different symptoms for different survivors. Some can’t speak at all, some can speak a little, some can’t understand what is said, while others can understand everything spoken.
There may be slurring of words. There may be sentences that make no sense. Whatever the signs are, the trapped feelings are the same, and their intellect remains intact.
He heard the words from the therapist, as he was discharged to go home after a 3 month stay.
“There is nothing more we can do for you!”
Those words pounded in his head repeatedly. After all, the therapist is the professional.
He couldn’t read and he couldn’t write!
He couldn’t speak! Hope was taken away, as good-byes were spoken.
He didn’t care about anything. He didn’t want to live. He believed there was nothing that could be done to help him speak again.
The 1st stage of self pity is understandable. It’s natural. It’s a given.
The length of time for this stage is different for everybody. There are many variables to consider and each person has to get past these feelings. They have to accept what has happened to them “in their own time”.
There is no moving forward. Time stands still.
It takes patience, patience, and more patience! The patience needed are extraordinary and monstrous. Not only on the survivors end, but also on the part of the caregivers and loved ones.
The changing of a stroke survivors feelings take time. It does not happen suddenly. They need to work their feelings out. They need to be given the time to do so. They need the time to accept what has happened, in order to move forward.
STAGE #2 Your goals are distant and may be unreachable
Now that you have accepted your situation, you want to set short and long term goals, using baby steps as you accomplish each one.
It may take days, weeks, months, or even years of hard consistent work.
You want to set attainable goals, and not set yourself up for disappointments by giving yourself goals that may not be obtainable in the time span given, or giving yourself too many goals at one time.
Remember the baby steps. In the beginning here, play with the time span. Set one goal. You can change these, as you advance along. They are your goals. You set them. You can change them.
You’ll be on a high one moment and down the next. The most important thing is DON’T EVER GIVE UP! EVA . . . EVA . . . EVA, and know this . . .
Overnight success will not happen!
Allow your caregiver to help you. They will be a large part of your success, as you progress towards your final goal.
Set one long-term goal, such as; “By the end of this year, I want to speak so many words or phrases” or “Maybe, I want to count to ten or twenty”.
Whatever your goal is, write it down and post it where you’ll see it daily. You want the reminder in front of you constantly. Call it your mentor!
Set one small goal at a time. One word at a time or one number. I again say “baby steps” with these short-term goals.
They can be set anyway you want. Set them on a daily basis, weekly basis, bi-weekly basis, or monthly basis. Whatever you feel comfortable with.
How many words do you want to work on in a day, in a week, or in a month? One? Two? Three?
Nothing is etched in stone.
Once you set your goals, it’s time to move to the final stage.
Stage #3 Don’t work your goals
Unless you harden yourself to the idea of working on your goals regularly, you will not attain them, so don’t envision fulfilling them.
You must set daily routines.
Set a time with your caregiver or loved one. If you don’t have either, ask a neighbor. Check with local schools/colleges and churches for volunteers. You can also check with organizations such as Knights of Columbus, DAV, Elks, American Legion, and many others.
Reach out to others. People love helping people. Find 7 volunteers and ask each one to help you, one day a week.
It can be an hour a day. It can be 10 minutes a day.It doesn’t matter how long you work it each day, as long as you work it! This is a must!
Work it alone by looking in a mirror and saying the word or the phrase. Watch your mouth and tongue as they move. Practice, and keep on practicing!
Repetition is the key to opening your line of communication, whether it be with someone or in the mirror. Just keep repeating . . . repeating . . . and repeating again . . . and again . . . and again.
You will get discouraged at times, but keep moving toward your long term goal. You may not see any improvement daily, and most likely won’t.
Nevertheless, keep the momentum going. You are your own catalyst. Engulf it.
“Yes . . . take baby steps and you CAN learn to speak again.”
With your persistence, with your endurance, and with your continuity, you have turned around the hope that was taken away . . . the . . . “There is nothing more we can do for you”.
Take hold of your own life now. Don’t wait!
Wake up from your nightmare. Grasp hold of your speechlessness. Forget about your speech therapist, and the negative thought they left you with.
Concentrate on what you can do at home to improve your speech. Clutch onto the stages above. Start to improve your speaking. Your communicating.
As soon as you have accepted your situation, set those goals and work on them vigorously. Let nothing come between you and your speaking. Go for it! Climb your mountain, a baby step at a time, and as high as you can go.
When you’ve reached your long term goal, set another one.
You’ve gone above and beyond . . . what your therapist couldn’t do.
You are able to converse, but don’t stop here. Keep practicing new words, and don’t forget to keep repeating the ones you’ve already learned. Repetition will get you to your goal, and your next goal, so keep speaking.
How proud you will be of yourself!
Then . . . Go celebrate!!!
NOT SURE 